Friday, March 23, 2007

The Jehovah's Witnesses Strike Again

Apparently cats are evil. Maybe some Jehovah's Witness cursed Maddie. Here's a hilarious site about all the reasons cats are evil, including these:

"Cats practice many unclean habits not befitting a Christian household: coughing up fur balls, licking inappropriate body areas on their own bodies (inappropriate handling) and even, in some cases, on the bodies of their human owners (wrongful motive?), urination on the floor, vocal and blatant promiscuity (unknown to any other species, all others being endowed with Godly chastity and decorum) and widespread sexual misconduct without the benefit or sanctity of holy matrimony, even orgiastic practices, substance abuse of catnip (an intoxicating herb) which produces conditions akin to drunkenness, stealing food from the table, producing ungodly sounds, excessive playfulness and the employment of devices not known to have been used by Jesus, the conducting of its unholy business under the cover of the darkness of night, and so on. What sort of example does this give our young ones endeavoring to faithfully serve Jehovah?"

So let me get this straight: cats are evil because they have extramarital sex? Does that mean I could save a cat's soul by wedding her to another cat and only letting them have sex with each other? What about neutered cats? The logic fails there. I mean, poor Maddie isn't having any sex at all! In fact, for all I know, she's probably a virgin.

Ok, yeah, she does have a small catnip habit, but it's only very small!

And about this business of "employment of devices not known to have been used by Jesus"...ok, I'll grant that Jesus probably didn't use a catbox, but then, he didn't use aftershave or a coil mattress or doorknobs either....

Ok, enough fun procrastinatory ranting for me....

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